


Paenitet

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Episode: s08e17 Goodbye Stranger - The Crypt Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 03:30:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15621573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Dean claws at the crypt’s floor, and raises his head slightly to look Castiel in the eye. Castiel himself is not sure what his face looks like, if Dean can see how utterly sorry Castiel is for this betrayal. As if sorry will fix anything."Or:An AU in which Castiel was not able to overthrow Naomi's control soon enough.





	Paenitet

**Author's Note:**

> The title means "I'm Sorry" in latin, by the way. Because I'm so original, I know. :)

“We’re family. We need you. I need you.” 

 

Castiel hears Dean’s words, he sees Dean, kneeling in front of him, looking battered and beaten and  _ broken _ , and then he is in Heaven and Naomi is standing in front of him.

 

“You have to choose, Castiel. Us, or Them.” She says, and with all his being he is crying out  _ “them,” _ but no sound comes out and he is back on Earth, and Dean is in front of him, staring fearfully at the angel blade that Castiel holds. 

 

Castiel fights it. He really does. But maybe he is extraordinarily conflicted about what he is supposed to do, or maybe he just isn’t strong enough to throw off Naomi’s control over him, but he watches from inside himself in horror as he stabs Dean in the chest.

 

He watches, frozen, unable to move from both Naomi’s influence and his own shock, as the moment of realization passes over Dean, and he stares at Castiel with shock and heartbreaking, utter sadness. He slumps over, fingers desperately clawing at the metal embedded in his chest, and Castiel tries with every fiber of his being to move, he needs to heal his friend (his only friend, other than Sam), and why won’t his arm just  _ move _ ?

 

Instead, he stands frozen, as he screams inside his head for something to happen, for the God who had long ago abandoned His creations to come back and fix everything. 

 

But nothing happens, and Dean lays on the floor, his breathes ragged and Castiel still cannot move, because now Naomi is just taunting him, keeping him here to watch, sending a message that  _ this is what happens when you disobey orders _ .

 

Dean claws at the crypt’s floor, and raises his head slightly to look Castiel in the eye. Castiel himself is not sure what his face looks like, if Dean can see how  _ utterly sorry  _ Castiel is for this betrayal. As if  _ sorry  _ will fix anything. 

 

“Cas...I kno-I know this wasn’t...you. S’not...your...fault.” Dean manages, and Castiel feels a wave of emotion that he has never felt before. 

 

He cannot think straight and that terrifies him, but all he can do is shout at whatever deity is out there that this will be fixed, and scream into his own mind.

 

At the back of his mind, whatever part of his brain is still thinking rationally points out that he is making it easier for Naomi to control him, but he can’t  _ think _ , and for a split second he is Heaven and Naomi is in front of him, a smug expression on her face, but before he can do anything he is back and Dean’s breathes are becoming shallower and shallower.

 

He recalls Naomi’s words.

 

_ “You have to choose, Castiel. Us or Them.”  _ But no, he definitely did not choose them.

 

_ I didn’t choose you!  _ He screams inside his mind.  _ I will never choose you! _ But it solves nothing, and Dean takes his final breath. 

 

Castiel can only move once Dean is dead, and he all but falls over once he has regained control of his own (well, technically, Jimmy Novak’s) body. He lifts Dean’s upper body off the ground, and he can immediately feel that his soul has departed, left his body behind.

 

He doesn’t think about the future beyond briefly wondering  _ how does he explain this to Sam? _ And instead sits on the cold ground and stares at Dean’s empty eyes, repeating his apology like a mantra, as if that would bring Dean back.

 

_ I’m sorry. _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and let me know what you think!


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